So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
