I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
