she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
