You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
