I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
