I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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