never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
