Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
