Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
