I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
