I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
