I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
