he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
