I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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