You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
