i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
