420 ftw
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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