i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
