we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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