Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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