so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
