just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
