She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
