I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
