I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
