you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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