So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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