I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
