He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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