On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
