its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
