we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
