So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
