I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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