well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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