At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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