I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
