As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
