I'm really into asian looking animals
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
