all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
