I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
