one might say we're banned from that church
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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