I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
