When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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