I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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