You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
