i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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