just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
