Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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