I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
